BliXX mission is to help humans to expand and grow though sexuality and with that purpose we invite the world’s best teachers and facilitators to offer their best eCourses on our website.
Today we welcome Shashi Solluna with her courses “The Tantric Couple Webinar” and “From Truama to Tantra” on our RESOURCES: Sex Positive Education section.
Shashi Solluna is one of the most experienced and amazing Tantra teachers in the world, a living legend. She has done everything in the field: workshops, retreats, festivals, books, a movie and online platforms like her new creation www.livetantra.com.
Shashi’s Journey
Before getting into the field of sexuality, she studied Psychology in Oxford. She started her spiritual journey with Buddhism and being celibate, which was great learning in many levels but also made her stiff, serious and disconnected. After a trip to Osho Ashram in India in 1999, she found herself judging “spiritual” woman on their beautiful dresses, make ups and earrings until she has realised that she had totally repressed her own femininity and her own humanity to become this spiritual woman who always wear white and feels better than everyone else.
Tantra invited her to come back down again, to be human and integrate meditation and spirituality with the human experience. She realised that if she wanted relationships, sexuality and love, then facing her humanity, flaws, traumas, past, shames, and other things is a must. To her, Tantra feels like uniting the higher Self and smaller self together, to not just become the higher Self but rather to have an integrated self as the highest goal, to be in authenticity with all that we are.
Sex Positive Education because…
Shashi has a big passion for working with the sexual shadow and specifically with sexual violence. At some point on her career, she worked with women who had been raped as well as with a man who asked for help because he was a rapist. That shifted her perspective on things and discovered that trauma affects both sides of the duality, ‘victims and perpetrators’. Everyone has some kind of innocence and is subjected to the same system, which lacks education and consciousness about sexuality, a lack of being able to hold up space to what’s vulnerable.
More and more in our world, we are hearing about pedophilia, non-consensual violence, etc. and she experienced how Tantra can help deal with sexual shadow with simple tools like genital breathing which bring consciousness into the body. Tantra also offers tools to work around forgiveness and shadows and brings light into the darkest places. This will make a huge difference that she would love to see in the world.
More about her offerings
In line with managing our shadows and finding ways to heal one’s self through tantra, Shashi has provided us two online courses on our website called ‘Tantric Couple Webinar Bundle’ and ‘From Trauma to Tantra’.
The Tantric Couple Webinar
The Tantric Couple Webinar, is an online course built on collaboration with other amazing tantric couples who work and/or embody conscious sexuality, tantra and intimacy. For her, what makes a couple ‘tantric’ is the ability to bring consciousness into the relationship and choosing to go on the journey together, regardless of the span of time. The key thing is to use the couple’s connection, love and attraction for each other in order to grow into the highest potential together. Working as a ‘tantric couple’ is about creating a container that is safe to explore and own whatever is going to be there. This is different to conventional relating where there is a lot more blame and complaining and people are not taught to take responsibility for what comes up.
To a personal standpoint, Shashi and her partner uses all the tools as an active tantric couple and this makes the relationship interesting. To her, being in this type of relationship is exciting compared to her past non-tantric relationship in which they were both passive in the sense of they were falling in love and the relationship will continue until the passion was over.
They use tantra techniques to help to ‘feed’ a relationship, to make magic happen to keep creating experiences. One of the tools that they use is the ‘trigger tool’ which came pretty early in the relationship because when they met, she just had a traumatic relational experience. She was continuously triggered by her partner simply because he is also a man so she decided to heal this trauma rather than thinking of him as a perpetrator or enemy. What they did was the ‘Pushing Hands’ Technique which is explained on the webinar. Not only did her trauma heal, she also built more trust with her partner than ever before and that was the base for going into more experiences together.
On her retreats she teaches these trigger healing techniques before doing all other lovely tantric techniques, touches and massages because it is very common to have negative emotions raising up with all the touches and meditations that will happen during the tantric practice. She says that we need the knowledge and tools that override that automated response that occurs when we are triggered, otherwise, we will just go in cycles of blaming the other. The tools help the couple to move through those triggers of past traumas because there is no way to get into real intimacy with someone without moving though those past layers.
In this 17-hour webinar, all couples are welcome. What is important with Tantra and Tao is that they both work with dualism and the non-dual together. The word ‘non-binary’ doesn’t really work for these systems because they acknowledge that there is a binary existence and there is a non-binary existence. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to be a woman-man couple in order to embrace these practices, you need to embrace that there is such a thing as a duality going on; there is light and dark, masculine and feminine energy. Denying this fact would mean that this may not be the right path and eCourse for you.
From Trauma to Tantra
Lastly, Shashi discusses about her second offer, the eCourse titled ‘From Trauma to Tantra’. This eCourse is ‘trauma-informed’ tantra for those who are into Tantra and witness how trauma is coming up, as well as for those who want to try Tantra as a way to heal their personal trauma they are already aware of. The healing can be done individually or as a couple. She starts recommending people with trauma interested on the course to have an on-call therapist on the side. Should there may be emotions so overwhelming that they cannot handle on their own or in a couple container, it’s important to have somebody to reach out to. The role of this person will be to hold a space which feels safe while the person is feeling all those feelings.
She explains that trauma can manifest on situations like stopping us to be able to be in a relationship or having a pattern to fall for abusers again and again. She also talked around the reactions in which trauma can manifest itself in sexuality. These reactions are: FREEZE response, in which there is a freezing-like reaction from the individual who is actually being overwhelmed in lovemaking. This reaction can be override and mistaken by surrender. FIGHT response, which can be healthier at times of deciding for yourself on when to say ‘NO, get away from me now’. And lastly there’s DISASSOCIATION or leaving the body because it’s too traumatic and painful to stay in it. This reaction can be mistaken with having an ‘spiritual experience’.
Shashi empathises that it is important to teach men and women to see the difference between a surrendered lover who is still present and a person who had frozen or dissociate. Learning about embodiment and be present in the body is important; and feeling the absence of your partner and being able to call them back to their own body rather than continuing with the sexual experience it is key to go deeper into trauma healing.
When you hear “BliXX”, what comes to your mind?
Bliss which is one of the most beautiful states we can enter in Tantra and it is for me, when everything we feel in the body is hyper-sensitized and delicious.
What is the single thing that allows you to feel more BliXX?
Any practice that anchors my consciousness into my physical body: meditations, rituals, a namastè before love making, conscious touch or any other tantric tool.
Thank you be_love_d folks!
WATCH THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW HERE
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What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how regarding unpredicted emotions.